Dear Snooze,
You over use ! but I let it slide. Your enthusiasm had me hesitant, but I thought it could be endearing in person.
Eh.
I was under the weather this past Monday, but for someone who's coughing like typhoid Mary in the office, I still manage to make plans.
Plan 1 was with another Tinder who agreed to take me to a movie. This Tinder actually showed up to a bar several weeks ago and I gave him the brush off across the room as I was dancing with someone else. Oops. His persistence is to be taken as desperate at this point. A quick Facebook search and sorry bud, but you mis represented on Tinder. Flush.
Plan 2 is also a movie with you, Mr. Snooze.
You agree to go to whichever theater is convenient for me, because I'm sick. Sweet. I suggest grabbing a bite before. Plans are made to eat at Shake Shack - first time for me.
Sidenote - burger was about as exciting as this date. Fries were good.
Moving on. We go to see This is The End which is the only saving grace. Hysterical. I might even see it again.
In conclusion, here is some advice because I have little else to contribute: don't be negative on a date. People will read you as pessimistic and it's not a good look on anyone. If you want to attempt bodily contact at any point on a date, do so in confidence. If you come off as timid it won't be taken seriously.
Sorry for the snooze readers, after I get some rest I promise for a wilder Tinder next time.
xoxo
BWinTBC
Tinder Take 11: Tongue Tied
Dear Tongue Tied,
I'm not sure where to begin here, but I will do my best.
You were persistent, but in an aloof way. You would ask plans and I would be busy or reschedule and then you would not respond. I assumed you didn't care.
I'm not not sure how long it had been from the first Tinder chat to what I can only describe as the most awkward interaction I've ever encountered, but for arguments sake lets say 6 weeks. Persistent.
I finally agree and prior to our "date" find you on Facebook through our mutual friend. You were cute in some pictures and not in others. Couldn't put my finger on it. I considered canceling, but I don't do flaky so I follow through.
I see you standing out front from half a block away and smile. Not terrible, but if you approached me at a bar I would not be interested. When I said hi and went in for the ice breaking warm hug you FREEZE UP. Aw.
A few days ago when the bar was suggested there was something familiar about it to me. I had a slight inkling an ex fling worked there. Lesson learned in ignoring instincts. We walk in and sure enough who greets us? Pretty Lights. (Met him backstage blacked out at a Pretty Lights show in December) May as well get two awkward situations out of the way at once. "I was going to call you. I finally finished a table." Don't care. He's trying to make furniture...so is every other hipster.
It is very apparent how we know each other. This may or may not have added to Tongue Tied's nerves.
I can tell when a boy is nervous on a date, but I have never experienced someone literally not being able to form complete sentences. I try my absolute best to be nice and engaging, but this is painful to watch. After nursing your first beer you gulp the second and house the third. At least it loosened you up a bit.
I on the other hand do not have an empty glass at any point. Well done Pretty Lights.
You smelled as though you hadn't showered in a few days. Your greasy hair confirmed that. I'm confused how a journalist can not speak, but perhaps hiding behind paper is safe.
I almost feel bad writing about you Tongue Tied, but here is it. I honestly wish you luck in this game of life, because it's a rough world out there.
Pretty Lights gchatted me the following day asking if that was an OK Cupid date. I lied and said I was doing a friend a favor by boosting this kid's confidence. Attempt at saving some face.
Two weeks later I find Pretty Lights on Tinder. I gave him a <3 for old time's sake and emailed him about it. Some girl told him that she wanted him to make her c*m and change her panties in front of him. LOL.
xoxo
BWinTBC
I'm not sure where to begin here, but I will do my best.
You were persistent, but in an aloof way. You would ask plans and I would be busy or reschedule and then you would not respond. I assumed you didn't care.
I'm not not sure how long it had been from the first Tinder chat to what I can only describe as the most awkward interaction I've ever encountered, but for arguments sake lets say 6 weeks. Persistent.
I finally agree and prior to our "date" find you on Facebook through our mutual friend. You were cute in some pictures and not in others. Couldn't put my finger on it. I considered canceling, but I don't do flaky so I follow through.
I see you standing out front from half a block away and smile. Not terrible, but if you approached me at a bar I would not be interested. When I said hi and went in for the ice breaking warm hug you FREEZE UP. Aw.
A few days ago when the bar was suggested there was something familiar about it to me. I had a slight inkling an ex fling worked there. Lesson learned in ignoring instincts. We walk in and sure enough who greets us? Pretty Lights. (Met him backstage blacked out at a Pretty Lights show in December) May as well get two awkward situations out of the way at once. "I was going to call you. I finally finished a table." Don't care. He's trying to make furniture...so is every other hipster.
It is very apparent how we know each other. This may or may not have added to Tongue Tied's nerves.
I can tell when a boy is nervous on a date, but I have never experienced someone literally not being able to form complete sentences. I try my absolute best to be nice and engaging, but this is painful to watch. After nursing your first beer you gulp the second and house the third. At least it loosened you up a bit.
I on the other hand do not have an empty glass at any point. Well done Pretty Lights.
You smelled as though you hadn't showered in a few days. Your greasy hair confirmed that. I'm confused how a journalist can not speak, but perhaps hiding behind paper is safe.
I almost feel bad writing about you Tongue Tied, but here is it. I honestly wish you luck in this game of life, because it's a rough world out there.
Pretty Lights gchatted me the following day asking if that was an OK Cupid date. I lied and said I was doing a friend a favor by boosting this kid's confidence. Attempt at saving some face.
Two weeks later I find Pretty Lights on Tinder. I gave him a <3 for old time's sake and emailed him about it. Some girl told him that she wanted him to make her c*m and change her panties in front of him. LOL.
xoxo
BWinTBC
Tinder Take 10: Tiny Tinder
Dear Tiny,
We had a good thing going there for a while. You were funny and interesting and I was quite looking forward to our date. As we all know I'm hard to wrangle down and you were persistent without scaring me away.
Pressure and over eagerness sends me a packin.
You tell me to meet you at The Other Room in the West Village. Sounds good. I hit up my friends beforehand to kill time. If I try going home to Brooklyn and coming back in on a weeknight there better be more than a few drinks on the line. My one friend has been to this bar before and says, "It's really dark in there." Great. I'm completely blind in the dark. I've begun to text my outfit as a precaution, because no one likes walking into a place looking like they're lost. Add meeting a total stranger into that mix and you're a deer in the headlights.
I walk in and sure enough I can not see. I text Tiny and in no time he's walking up. Cute. Looks like his picture. Opens the door to the bar takes a step up and um something isn't right. Oh. There's only one step up and I am Tinderzilla.
We have a few drinks and I genuinely enjoy myself, but I can't be bothered to bend down for a kiss. I will stand on my toes and strain my neck any night of the week, but the opposite will not suffice.
Good luck Tiny. It's a tall world out there, but I have no doubt you'll find a sweet little Tinderbell to make you happy in that amazing West Village apartment you have. I didn't go there if you're wondering. He showed me pictures of it.
xoxo
BWinTBC
We had a good thing going there for a while. You were funny and interesting and I was quite looking forward to our date. As we all know I'm hard to wrangle down and you were persistent without scaring me away.
Pressure and over eagerness sends me a packin.
You tell me to meet you at The Other Room in the West Village. Sounds good. I hit up my friends beforehand to kill time. If I try going home to Brooklyn and coming back in on a weeknight there better be more than a few drinks on the line. My one friend has been to this bar before and says, "It's really dark in there." Great. I'm completely blind in the dark. I've begun to text my outfit as a precaution, because no one likes walking into a place looking like they're lost. Add meeting a total stranger into that mix and you're a deer in the headlights.
I walk in and sure enough I can not see. I text Tiny and in no time he's walking up. Cute. Looks like his picture. Opens the door to the bar takes a step up and um something isn't right. Oh. There's only one step up and I am Tinderzilla.
We have a few drinks and I genuinely enjoy myself, but I can't be bothered to bend down for a kiss. I will stand on my toes and strain my neck any night of the week, but the opposite will not suffice.
Good luck Tiny. It's a tall world out there, but I have no doubt you'll find a sweet little Tinderbell to make you happy in that amazing West Village apartment you have. I didn't go there if you're wondering. He showed me pictures of it.
xoxo
BWinTBC
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